Ode to the Giant Colorful Umbrella

You look like a rainbow that got trapped between

The thick webs of a silly spider who did not know

Of the magic that happens when the rain and sun

Meet once in a while;

You are a lantern house in the night under the

Street bulb, shining your colors so strongly, I

Bet from really far away I look just like you

A rainbow colored girl.

And it’s magical how you have space for everyone

My friend, and her friend, and for the lady on

The street who forgot her rain protection at home,

You shall prove a good wingman some day.

And I had

Always been the rain girl, the one who prides

In her ability to jump over puddles

And finds happiness in the smallest of things

Who would have thought I’d find my joy

In you

You giant rainbow umbrella.

I am alone

In the walk by the cars that shine their headlights

Throwing their glow at my entire body; in the sounds

Of the horns that pass, screaming for someone

To notice their cry; in the mist of the smoke; in the heat,

And the after-rain cold; in the fire of the sun; in a

Raincoat with drenched feet; and in the music

That is always there but never really there with me.

I am alone.

In my joys that I feel scared to share, sometimes

Because someone else seems to be having a bad

Day; sometimes in my sadness because who wants

To add to someone else’s tearful load; in

The petting of a beautiful brown eyed coffee-colored

Dog who needs me so badly sometimes that he makes

Me walk away; I wish he could learn to be alone.

I am alone.

In my body, my skin, my being; there is only

One heart that belongs to me and it is mine; there

Is only one soul pretending to be living so many lives,

Only one mind that walks in one direction, needing

One kind of songs, and one kind of poems, and one

Kind of friends, and one kind of love; alone in the

Shower making myself feel joy after a tiring day.

I am alone.

In life, and will be, in death. Taking with me my

Steps and my words that are shared honestly only

With a few, only a few times; everything else is just a

Murmur to escape the silence of how alone we all are

In our pretense of being together; hugging and kissing

And making love again and again, trying to run

Away from ever admitting to ourselves

We are alone.

An Ode to Food

What a tragedy it is to have forgotten

The exquisite names of meals that had once

Rolled down my tongue, made my lips curl

Into a toothy grin, and how it had once made

My belly feel so full, I couldn’t care if my

Heart felt empty; these names seemed to have

Jumped off the edge of my brain- now all I

Know of food is rotis and curry, and dal, a

Little bit of dosa and idli; the menu of the

Chinese restaurant near my house, the fried

Delciousness can now only be found in the

Stains of my diary entries; and the utterly butterly

Punjabi paranthas that I could once eat

Four at a time, are such a distant memory;

The break up with that plate of momos, how

We once used to meet every day; there was once

Andhra pickle in my room, we had a date with

Rice and curd; once there was biryani with shahi

Paneer, we would just eat without saying a word;

Months back there was a home, the fridge always

Leaking with fruits, and cucumbers, and cheese

My favorite place in the house, it always had something

For me; how long has it been since we met

My dear gulab jamuns, and rasmalais, the kaju

Ki barfis with wedding cards, and the rasgulas

That were present all the time; there

Were once visits to nani’s house, and yes

She loves to feed- bhel puris and aloo chaats,

And her special bhindi; and now the loss of

Rajma being called 'razma', I could still deal with it

But they got the taste all wrong; There was once

A winter with nothing but green methi paranthas, 

mirchi ka aachaar, and malai;

but these days I eat only because

This woman needs to survive.

And ah, the whole world shall empathize

If by some tragedy I go deaf or dumb

But so few ever understand this loss

Of the taste-buds going numb.

P.s- When I called my mom up to recite this poem, she was eating a mango. What's a mango?

The first time your heart broke you realized

That something inside you actually hurts, the ‘break’ is not

Just a mere metaphor; And when it broke so many more

Times you started thinking that you were no

Longer a whole being but broken pieces floating in a

Complete-looking body; Each person came like a star in

The moonlit sky of your life, but each new one got duller

And so you’d cry, basking in the loneliness of your own

Moonlight; but you know, you shine, so don’t you ever

Fall in love with just a flashlight, and never let anyone tell

You to have just a bite, and never tell yourself that less is

Enough when you deserve more than you think you deserve;

So wait for everything you’ve always wanted, and I’ll pray

You get it (with a little bit more); till then listen to all the

Romantic songs you want, all the movies that give you hope,

And look at every passer-by asking yourself “Could this person
Be the one?”; give your heart one time, two times, too many times;

Don’t you ever stop being hopelessly romantic

One day you’ll find someone who looks at you like..

(yes, you’re right)

Like you’re magic.