Writing is scary. Everytime I sit down to write, it freaks me out. THEY freak me out, the things I wanna talk about. 
Some too personal. Too close.
Some too sad.
Others too preachy.
or some are just so manically happy.
It is hard to decide what lie to choose.
It is scary cause my mind is convinced that someone will look through the words and see what's been hiding all along. No one needs to know. My fears, my tears, my truths, my stories; they are just mine and mine alone.

Tracing the outline of his face from a photograph, she couldn't decide what she felt. Did his memories make her happy? Or sad? Did she hate him for leaving her like that, or did she hate herself for letting him leave?
She stared once again at that face, the one she'd seen every single day since the past thirty years of her life, and it scared her that she still had no idea what she felt for him. No freaking idea. None at all.
And we see people leave all the time. Some leave unwillingly, through illness or death; some leave because the burden gets too hard to bear. Some leave and take all joys with them, some because they've cried too long. It's hard to stop them, you know. Harder still when things keep mounting over time and the debt just gets more and more impossible to pay.
She still didn't know what she wanted. Did she want him back, or was he gone for good? Or maybe she was just wishing she could start all over again? Have a new beginning, make a different ending.


Whatever it was, I knew I didn't want to be there. No. I didn't wish to be on that chair holding that piece of paper. 
I wouldn't let that happen to myself.
Or maybe that is me?

To Future Me,

You got through it all na? The joys, the sorrows; the sweet and the sour?

I KNEW you could do it!

I know you must be rocking the world! I'm sure you are!

I look at you, and I know I can't wait to be there, right where you are. I know it's gonna take years of MY hardwork to create YOU, but it's gonna be worth it.

I look at you, and I know you're making a change. Changing lives for the better, and nothing makes me feel more proud!

You finally have your 'magic beans' too! Yayee!

And the book you published, the dream you've had seen forever, you made it come true!

And when I see you, I don't just see a career-driven, change-driven, independent strong person; I see so much more. I see you travelling the world, learning things, reading books, watching movies, going to clubs, AND I see you going on ROAD TRIPS! Just the way you always wanted to! Seriously, I can't wait to get there.

And yes, you did find him didn't you?

Somewhere, something, somehow got you to him! And it's all perfect isn't it? Everything you'd been waiting for is finally with you!

And your apartment looks beautiful with all that Dilli Haat ka stuff, and Woof is a beautiful dog.

I'm glad I worked hard and turned into you.

Waiting to be with you soon! :)

Your creator,
Aakriti 2012
;)