حساس - Hasaas - Sensitive

Urdu ke saath rishta kuch ajeeb sa hai, jaise koi apna jise apna bulate hue paraya mehsoos hota ho. Aage padhiye, samjhati hoon kyun.

Do baras pehle, ek June ya July kabhi maine Urdu script seekhi thi. Phir zindagi mein toofaan aaya aur maine khud ko apni teacher se door jaate dekha. Unki yaad mein maine Rekhtaa Foundation ke aamozish course ko shiddat se padha, aur koi check karne wale ke na hone ke ba-wajood, har roz Urdu mein apne kisi favorite gaane ke lyrics likhe. Kabhi Tamasha film ka 'Chali Kahani' jiske lyrics aaj bhi kuch gehraai se mehsoos karate hai, toh kabhi Zohra Ji ki 'Mujhse Pehli Si Mohabbat' ki recitation sun kar. Bas, likhti gayi. Aaj bhi kabhi kaam par task list Urdu mein banati hoon, toh kabhi masjid paar karte waqt koi na koi shabd padhne-pehchan-ne ki koshish karti hoon.

Par dil khud se naaraaz hee rehta hai. Kehta hai, script toh seekh li, par shabd aate hai kya?
Aate hai kya?

Ishq Urdu ne sikhaya ki meri roz ki boli Urdu se bhari hui hai, phir kyun paraya lagta hai? Jaise ye koi subject ho jiska maine koi exam hee nahi diya toh shayad mujhe lagta hai ki I know but maybe I don't?

Anyway, ye sab hota rahega.

Zindagi phir toofaani hai, aur iss baar maine khud se likhne ka wada kiya hai.

Rekhta ke instagram page par roz ek naya word aata hai. Plan hai ki kuch apni kahani uss se jod ke sunayi jaaye. Zyada umeed nahi hai. Bas kahani likhni hai.

'Hasaas' ka matlab hai sensitive and I remember ki bachpan se hee main khud ko sensitive maanti hoon. Meaning badla bohot inn saalon mein. Kabhi senstive vs. emotional ka debate, kabhi mental health se iska relationship samajhna, kabhi biology, kabhi ise ek aurat ke nazariye se samajhna, aur kabhi bas iss mein doob jaana. Haal mein I was watching a video jo bola ki kabhi kabhi humara pre-disposition (dimaag ki wiring) hee aisi hoti hain. I thought main neurotic hoon - a tendency to feel negative emotions too much, but ab lagta hai wo definition adhoori hai. Shayad main negative emotions zyada feel karti hoon, but mein positive bhi utna hee zor se feel karti hoon. Isliye andar hamesha hee bhoochaal hai. Toh, aaj ki poem iss par hee.

حساس 
ترا دکه  بڑا تو مرا دکه چند 
مرا دکه چند تو ترا دکه خدا 
عجیب سلسلہ ہے یہ درد بانٹنے سمبھالنے کا 
جیسے وو چاہے جسکی چینی 
یا توہ کم یا زیادہ پڑہی جاتی ہے 
سوچو توہ سواد میں کیا سہی غلط

کھٹاس توہ زبان پر بیٹھی ہے 

دھندہ توہ آنکھ کے سامنے ہے 

ہر درد  بڑا

ہر خوشی چاند

سب کچھ خدا

Hasaas

Tera dukh bada toh mera dukh chaand

Mera dukh chaand toh tera dukh khuda

Ajeeb silsila hai ye dard baantne sambhalne ka

Jaise wo chaaye jiski cheeni

Ya toh kam ya toh zyada padh hee jaati hai

Socho toh swaad mein kya sahi-galat

Khataas toh zubaan par baethi hai

Dhundh toh aankh ke saamne hai

Har dukh bada

Har khushi chaand

Sab kuch khuda.

P.S. - Blogspot par main 2011 se hoon. Aaj pehli baar dekha ki yahan Hindi, Urdu, Punjabi mein type karne ka option hai. Bohot achcha laga :)

P. P. S. - Aap mein so koi Urdu par feedback de sakey toh bohot achcha lagega. Ye likhte saath hee maine bohot spelling errors recognize kiye par abhi kaafi kuch seekhna baaki hai.