An Ode to Sadness

Where does all this sadness go?

First I thought it passes on to someone who needs it more;

Then I tried forwarding it, like a Diwali gift - unopened and unneeded

But true to the nature of an unwanted gift, it found home in me again;

For a while, I wondered if it can be converted to laughter

By some scientific formula that was yet to be discovered;

Is there a recipe to turn it to minimum biodegradable waste

The kind I can use to make better things?

Or will it run and and break dance inside my veins

Till I turn to stone and crumble to the ground?

Ya phir shareer ki tarah ye dukh bhi bhasm ho jaega

Poof, and it vanishes to nothingness?

Where, dear sadness, do you go?

Tell me, for this fool does not know.

You came to me after so long, like a romance

At first I thought we shall ball dance

So I entwined my fingers in yours, and smelt the musk of your chest

Let you grab me by the waist and put on a slow song

We moved slowly all night;

Then I thought you were interesting company,

Which is rare to come by,

So I made you my partner in poetry and art,

You were more than a partner, love, you were my muse,

And out came doodles and drawings, a sher or two tumbled out between my dreams,

In all your kindness, you cuddled me back to sleep,

You held me warm all day and night, so warm, who would want to wake up from the daze?

Then you fed me your thoughts like chocolate covered strawberries

And I, I was just happy to be spoonfed like a loved child,

Ab kambaqht ye shareer ko rajma chawal nahi chahiye.

Tell me, where does all this sadness go?

Because now I feel it consuming me like a big chocolate covered strawberry,

Because in the few odd moments I wake up, my life doesn't feel like mine anymore,

Because when I eat, I can only taste the dryness on my tongue,

Because now we are here,

You, a guest who has outlived it's welcome.

You, a guest who has made a home of me.

And me, abandoned and homeless,

Where do I go?