Winters

Like saying ‘hello’ when meeting a treasured friend

Like hugging the warmth of the sunshine

Like warm feelings that had been tucked away under warm clothes

kept in care for colder times

Like reasons to let people come closer

Like excuses to hold them tighter

Like a short day that begs to be lived to the fullest

Like a star-filled night that refuses to get over

You come back to me like an old lover

You whisper in my ears long forgotten songs

You play with my hair

You tickle my heart with your gentle breath

You fill my mind with your scent.

You come to me like an old lover

who will one day say goodbye again.

There are promises that you make to yourself

that will change the way you live your life; and sometimes

you will be able to see as you make them; other times

it’ll be years before you knew you were following a mantra

a motto, or something; and when you look back

it’ll shine through everything you have ever done

and you’ll love it or hate it; but years later, you won’t be able to

do anything about it.

I have made some promises too.

Like the promise I’ve made to never regret the evening I spent

swept in the arms of something I love; like reading poetry

Or listening and singing along to songs in the happiest voice,

Like the day when I chose to ignore a pending assignment

so that I could go and listen to two old men, both poets

as they recited words weaved in magic, casting a spell on me

And the wonder I felt when I saw them grow young

in the span of an hour or so.

And I will never look back with contempt or anger

at the things and people that once made me happy, so happy

that the world seemed brighter when I sat next to them;

and time got wings as I saw it fly by me; and every 'goodbye'

seemed too hard, and every 'hello' so warm..

Because it doesn’t matter if they made me cry, they also gave me

the time of my life; and I promise to be grateful

for each laugh, each smile.

To never regret the time I spent, making people laugh

making them happy, with jokes and stories; truth or fiction

but giving them a time they cherish; time spent with children

listening to their stories of toys and school; of puppies as they

wag their tails, smiling with their eyes and loving oh so completely,

like games played with my mother, or evenings spent with friends

times that needn't be recorded in diaries, and feelings that are hard

to put into words.

And I will never let anyone tell me, to look at my world

with anything but pretty heart-shaped rose-tinted glasses

Because the truth is, we’re all going to wear lenses anyway

so I’ll look at my world with hope and love and its beauty

and people for all the magnificent charm and joys they hold

each person with his own ways of giving out happiness

each person with her own way of showing that she matters.

I made promises to myself the other day

promises I should have made a long time back

promises I intend to keep for a long time to come.

I feel cheated on, today

Because there is someone else out there who is

Living my life—wearing the shoes I would have picked

had I gotten to the store first; and in clothes

that actually belong to me; telling stories

that are hidden in the corners of my heart

And I don’t know how she knows, but she knows

And she flies, while I float around today,

holding on to temporary anchors as I search for wings.

Because there are no words for the things I feel

And reasons for what I feel, but I feel, so much

About so many things—like when I cross the road

And stare at faces that say to me- “you know,

I have an interesting story to tell”; and when I see

mothers holding daughters as they cross roads

and on the other end, daughters holding their mothers

who are children again, once their job is done

And how I laugh and smile and cry

Because I can see the circle of life; but there is no one word

Or even many, that can ever describe the warmth I feel

That sometimes burns the inside.

Because I can see time slipping through my fingers

and life passing by my eyes; while I’m consumed

in work that makes no difference to me, but have to do anyway

and the panic attack I feel, when I see the date

because it’s already October and my friend told me,

that the year ends in 74 days, and because I have no clue

where the rest of the weeks and months went away

And though I know I have changed a lot, as time added

something new to my eyes; I just wish there was some more time

so that I could stop and just feel the change as it occurs.

Because I cheat myself when I don’t say the things I feel

Like the words that sleep dreamy-eyed on the tip of my tongue

waiting for the day they’ll finally come out; and the fine line

between who I am and what I wish to be, and the game

I play as I cross over from here to there every once in a while

And because ‘love’ isn’t such a big word anymore, but ‘feelings’ is

And because you could hold hands and hug people all day

But that in no way means that they understand, or you do

And because we walk but don’t know where to go.

I feel cheated on today.

Cheers to the being who does not keep

A hidden box at the top of the closet

Or in some corner of the heart

Or in its mind

Where it is covered

By the cobwebs of memory

A box that contains bits and pieces of paper

Words and dialogues

Quotes and lyrics

Photographs of smiles

And pictures of views

Letters that haven’t been opened in years

And phone numbers that will never be used

Pens whose souls left them

When their inks ran dry

And papers who knew they had died

When dust came to reside on them

Where once fingers touched,

And tears smiled.

A box

The box

The most dreaded box

The most loved one

The one there

But not really.

Cheers to the being

Who can let it go

Who can but throw

Away the things

That matter no more.

And I will come

looking for you

soon

but I have a box

as of now

to look after.