This is the kind of anger that got to her. By nature she is no angry person but this boils up in her throat making her want to cry and kill at the same time. Simple things! Like he not being there for her when she was scared of a bee. Big things she could handle alone, but could he not wake up for 5 minutes so that she could sleep peacefully?

Or telling her how imperfect she is ALL THE TIME. Yes. He did that a lot and no matter how hard she tried, he would never be pleased. Or say commenting on her clothes, her earrings, her laugh, her way of talking..why? why? WHY?

And everything she ever wanted to do was encouraged, yes, but never before a brief session of pulling her and her self esteem down. Or blaming her for things she didn't do or hearing words she said in a tone so different that he thought she was rude.

This was the kind of stuff that got to her. Things that made her feel the way a flying bird would feel if gravity pulled it a little harder. The kind that tells her that she has broken wings. The kind that tells her not to fly.

Dear Diary,

So today I was out for a surprise party my cousins had thrown for their parent's 25th anniversary and it was fun! The surprise included a slide show of all the years that had passed by. As the pictures flashed on the screen my mind sort of wondered off to what they would have thought their life would be like when those pictures were taken. You know what I mean? Its like you're sitting some place wondering what your life would be like in the next 25- 30 years and then the time passes by so quickly that you realize that you are suddenly living that day!

And me? Well, I stood there adoring the beautiful party wondering what my life would be like in the next 25 years. Would I have everything I ever dreamed of? Would I be just as happy as I am today? Or more? Who would be the most important people in my life then? What would have happened to those people whom I love today?

And no replies came. Only the thought that 25 years later, one fine day when I scroll through these things again, maybe I'll have all the answers!

:)

Love,
Aakriti

Mindblowing May!
Day Two :)

My inspiration :)

My experiences, my thoughts, all along had taught me 
Lock away your heart if you want to be happy
"It'll cause you hurt and pain and so much more
You don't want that to happen? You've experienced that before!"
I laughed at my thoughts, such an innocent advice they gave 
But to have an open heart one needs to brave
It is my heart that allows me to see things as they are
A beautiful thing like my heart needn't be kept in a jar..

Okay. So Mindblowing May is finally here! Check it out! :)

Hosted by Ruhani Chopra, I'm sure its gonna be as amazing as expected! :)

This is my inspiration for today's post-

You said you loved me, I said I didn't love you back
No no, not that way atleast
And for months I tried to explain
You've got no work, and your words are hardly ever polite
I tried to show I cared, but just not the way you wanted me to

Months passed by and you still wouldn't give up
No no, no matter how wrong you were
It hurt your manhood to hear a no
How were you to ever let go?

Days later as I walked down the streets
Still wrapped with the guilt of the hurt I must have caused
I saw you coming toward me, I smiled to try and sought it out
That's when it hit me, the fire you threw
Burning my face, killing my sight

It is because of your ego, your frail sick ego
That today I walk in masks to hide my face
That not a single soul looks at me,
That each one person stares past me with disgrace

It is because of your broken heart, oh and your 'love'
That I can no longer make my dreams come true
Your 'love' that has caused so much suffering
This disfigured face, these sightless eyes, and all the things I can no longer do

Days have passed, as I walk down the streets
Wrapped in the consequences of your foolish acts
I look at you coming from afar,
The bottle of fire clenched in my hands
You pass by me, not a muscle moves
No, I still cannot get myself to do this to you..